Sometimes before i go to bed, i tend to think back about the past. How i still miss the intern days of my ex-company. Miss the people and especially the work. Then, there are times when irrational thoughts came over me, i would tell myself if only i was back at the same place, then maybe the problems of this current situation wouldn't have bothered me. Actually i think the feeling of regret have knocked on my door a few times. I feel like that because i realised that maybe what i went through in the past wasn't so bad. As much as the situations were crappy at times, but there would always be an avenue in which i can voice out how i feel and there'll be somebody to empathise how i feel. But in here, my feelings and thoughts were supressed and it feels like no one understands and nobody bothers to entertain me either. They care more of themselves. Lately because the mentor was ticked off with the freelancer so he sent him off, leaving the entire workload for me to shoulder. Self centeredness and selfish thought. Just because the mentor couldn't agree with the freelancer, so he has every right to tell him to go off and not considering the consequences after that. Thanks to his one step of foolishness, i have to start digging my own grave. Practically almost every week there's bound to be a day i have to work till 7am. It's miserable because i'm not being paid for my service. It's a little unfair that the mentor makes full timer ot more because we're free. Although the mentor would say "thank you" in return. But these 2 words doesn't mean anything to me at all. I don't benefit from it and instead i have to sacrifice my time, my sleep and free labour. In fact the ex-company was better. The record was 5am and once in a blue moon that would happen. Unlike here. Almost every one or 2 weeks. This is the toughest endurance race of my entire life. I seriously have no idea how to carry on for the next 8 months...if every monday i dread going to work, every evening dread having to stay late, everyday fear the mentor being picky and fussy, and fear handling the insane workload. I'm seriously annoyed! If only i still had my seniors around, i would be inspired to be like them. If only i had my ex-traffic around, i would have someone to whine to and somebody to laugh about, if only i still had my insane and annoying copywriter at least he would help me out in sticky situations. If only i still had the gang of 4 to share my woes and laughter...I think i'm disappointed with myself for not being appreciative of what i used to have. This is seriously crap work and i can't escape because other places would be worst. The best days are the days when you can stay home and do whatever that pleases you. 8 months, i look forward to that. Quit being an advertiser! Quit! Quit! Quit!