I'm having this mixed feeling now. I remember before the pitch, I was secretly praying to God to let me work on this particular account. That's if we manage to win the pitch. Yet, this morning, my mentor was speaking to me and he actually gave me the freedom to choose which account I would like to work on. I didn't dare say I would like the new account but he somehow assigned it to me because I've been working on it for like the longest time and he said it would be good for my portfolio. In my heart I was delighted. On top of that, I get to choose another account. I choose back the account that I was assigned to when I first joined the company. Something I'm very familiar with. But the mentor asked why didn't I choose Wxxxxx? I nv liked that account in the very first place. I took it up without any choice because someone else left. So I just told the mentor straight that it's because of workload. Can't expect me to take on 2 accounts that's equally active. I'll end up becoming like the previous AD-"Chui". But he told me to think about it. I still think it's good to divorce something you don't love. It'll affect my career passion. I could just recall those days when I felt super miserable because I just didn't like what I was doing. Low-budget and fast turn-around is definitely not my cup of tea. Why waste effort proposing things which you know will never come true? Although I'm happy to be working on a new account but the workload just scares the heck out of me. Dear God, please grant me the grace to overcome my fears and strength to be able to carry through.
Besides that, an announcement was made. Someone in the company is leaving. Suddenly felt that bit of sadness daunting unto me. The suit with that bubbly character who always jokes around with me is moving on. Sigh. Sometimes I just wonder why did God do that? Always taking away people whom I enjoy working with. But I guess leaving is soon becoming parts and parcels in life. I just have to learn how to embrace such issue. Somehow these things just affected my mood.
Then on the other hand, the writer often instills fear within me. I just don't quite understand man! Why isn't she scared?? And why am I the only one always having this fear? Each time when we do brainstorm, I was the one who came up the bulk of it. Sometimes I just think to myself I don't need a writer to brainstorm with me. Last time, I used to be very dependent on my writer because he could just turn whatever things that I randomly said into an idea. But now it's different. I usually brainstorm on my own first, then share ideas with the writer so that we could compile them up and present to my mentor. Every time the writer just contributes 2-3 ideas and out of those, maybe only one works. Some don't make sense but it's difficult to tell her in the face it don't make sense. So usually I'll just write it down and present to the mentor and he would be the bad guy. If we present too little to the mentor, he would make some noise and said that's it??!?? Sigh. It's tough being me. There are days in which I would also have mental blocks and unable to produce so many ideas and the writer is not helping me even. Today is one good example. I totally fear big time until I flee to the Lord for help. Said a few hail mary so that I could just escape the mentor's "huh? That's it? or rejection of all the ideas. Superficially, it looks as though I worked real well with the writer but the truth is, I'm covering up all the loop holes and it sucks to just keep doing that. On top of that I can't believe I have to always be the one doing the presentation. Why??!! Usually the writers are the ones who are good with words and could sell the ideas more. But apparently this writer has stage fright! *faints* Someone please kill me man.
Besides that, an announcement was made. Someone in the company is leaving. Suddenly felt that bit of sadness daunting unto me. The suit with that bubbly character who always jokes around with me is moving on. Sigh. Sometimes I just wonder why did God do that? Always taking away people whom I enjoy working with. But I guess leaving is soon becoming parts and parcels in life. I just have to learn how to embrace such issue. Somehow these things just affected my mood.
Then on the other hand, the writer often instills fear within me. I just don't quite understand man! Why isn't she scared?? And why am I the only one always having this fear? Each time when we do brainstorm, I was the one who came up the bulk of it. Sometimes I just think to myself I don't need a writer to brainstorm with me. Last time, I used to be very dependent on my writer because he could just turn whatever things that I randomly said into an idea. But now it's different. I usually brainstorm on my own first, then share ideas with the writer so that we could compile them up and present to my mentor. Every time the writer just contributes 2-3 ideas and out of those, maybe only one works. Some don't make sense but it's difficult to tell her in the face it don't make sense. So usually I'll just write it down and present to the mentor and he would be the bad guy. If we present too little to the mentor, he would make some noise and said that's it??!?? Sigh. It's tough being me. There are days in which I would also have mental blocks and unable to produce so many ideas and the writer is not helping me even. Today is one good example. I totally fear big time until I flee to the Lord for help. Said a few hail mary so that I could just escape the mentor's "huh? That's it? or rejection of all the ideas. Superficially, it looks as though I worked real well with the writer but the truth is, I'm covering up all the loop holes and it sucks to just keep doing that. On top of that I can't believe I have to always be the one doing the presentation. Why??!! Usually the writers are the ones who are good with words and could sell the ideas more. But apparently this writer has stage fright! *faints* Someone please kill me man.
